Imagine awakening one morning and being told that a Maserati and a
Ferrari were parked in your driveway, ready to roll. Or that 10 cases each of
Dom Perignon and Roederer Cristal were on ice in your rec room, or that
Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox were perched provocatively on the arms of
your La-Z Boy. All you had to do was choose one of them. That's how I felt
when the phone rang and an editor instructed me: "Take a good look and tell
us which is the better destination for golfers, Scotland or
Ireland."
I was verging on clinical giddiness when the realization hit:
This would be an impossible task. After all, on the surface Scotland and
Ireland are indistinguishable. Both have gorgeous countryside, charming
little towns, craggy castles, quaint pubs, tweed-jacketed men on bicycles and
more sheep than people. Both have huge shirt logos and tiny vegetables, long
summer days and short soda cans, feeble water pressure and powerful winds,
too few ice cubes and too many Indian restaurants, terrific fish and
terrible hamburgers. And both, above all. have magnificent collections of golf
courses. Moreover, I was biased. I love Scotland so much, I've moved there. I
pay Scottish taxes and speeding tickets, stand in line (sorry, in a queue)
at Scottish post offices and bakeries, visit Scottish doctors and
recycling centers (sorry, centres). I even eat haggis. How could I possible
assess Ballybunion et al., with an objective eye when I live on the Old Course
at St. Andrews?
Worst of all, I hadn't been to Ireland in more than 20
years. Admittedly, my memories of that visit were fond‹exceedingly fond‹but
were they accurate? A lot had happened since 1981—to Ireland, to the world,
to me. Truth be told, this wasn't a matter of comparing Jennifer and
Courtney; it was comparing a one-time love to my one true love, that
long-ago mistress to my longtime wife.
But the job had to be done. And so
I did the only thing I could: I returned to Ireland, where I drove 1,500
miles, visited 22 golf courses, stayed in 11 hostelries, consumed gallons of
Guinness, lost two dozen golf balls, gained eight pounds, had breakfast with
an elephant and totaled my Ford Focus in a field full of sheep, all in quest
of the answer.
The first thought that struck me when I saw my long-lost
colleen was that the years had been kind to her. The beyond-the-fairways
Ireland I'd remembered was fringed with poverty. Beggars hobbled through the
Dublin streets and many of the winding rural roads were dotted with
painfully decaying homes. Not anymore. Over the past several years, the
Republic of Ireland has enjoyed one of the most robust economies in the
world
There is a happy, brightly painted look to the towns—indeed, most of
the 50 or so villages through which I motored had a more upbeat and sprightly
feel than their auld grey Scottish counterparts. Meanwhile, along those
country roads most of the dilapidated shacks seem to have disappeared,
replaced by dozens of modern homes. Big ones.Every aspect of the Irish
economy has blossomed over the last 10 years, and none more than golf
tourism. By contrast, Scotland's share of the pie has shrunk, due in large
part to an underfunded, fragmented and poorly managed marketing effort. Maybe
the most telling reflection is in Ryder Cup site selection. Scotland will
play host in 2014, but Ireland got it in 2006, at a golf course that's less
than 20 years old.
